Tuesday, December 30, 2008

An old blog I used to know

Here is the link to another blog I used to update and have not since april. It's about my other life in the theater and music.


Some day I will write new content for it, I have been singing a lot, but not today. Today like most other days this month my stomach is in a knot and if I could just get a truck to come and haul away all of my old life, I would get in my car and leave the state and start over somewhere with jobs. I would miss friends and church and the groups I sing with but this need to escape is so strong I am affraid it will manifest itself one way or the other.
But I am 52 and starting over where I have no contacts and no support system.... I do not know if I have the strength for it. The last time I made a big move I was in my 30s and had two teenage sons, child support and a reason to have to get up every day. Now I just feel beaten down. I do not want to face anyone or talk to anyone in real life. I am just busy screaming in my head and trying to get through the day without screaming out loud.